If i had a hammer.

It's been an ugly semester. I'm very very glad that things are almost done.

I feel more and more like i'm developing a musical approach that is an extension of myself.

The Birthday Party and Death are great ways to feel bad about your days through music.

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g146/crazee86/flyer.jpg

So for the first time during my life I have the inkling that at any moment nukes could start flying. A slight sense of paranoia informs just about everything it seems. In my opinion, a justified paranoia. We have Mister Bush scoffing at the remarks of a president threatening to point missiles at us, so that's nice. "Stay the Course!". I really hate July 4th. Preachers on tv waving around American flags, pretending for a day that the country was started for this and that purpose. Sure, "God's Country", absolutely.

Some more policemen got let off of killing people. That's not really as surprising as it should be.

I'm really bummed about Jennifer being gone. It's given me a chance to play and listen to music a lot, which is nice, but i'd rather have some company. I want to move.

I am in a fierce ebay bidding war on a Marshall JCM 800. I WILL NOT LOSE.

Let's find me some Fender Twin's from the red knob era, mmk? Thanks a bunch.

I GO TO SLEEP AT NINE A CLOCK

Man. I'm stuck at school for the next seven hours. I came to a review that was nice but I think I would have done just fine without it. Oh well.

I'm going in for an interview at Target on Friday. I hope to goodness that I land a job there. I hope I land a job anywhere, honestly. But why not at Target?

Ted Leo's new album came out today. I haven't heard it yet, but everyone's saying the same thing they always say when new Ted albums come out. "It's samey/ It's very similar to his past work/ blah blah". Truth be told, Shake the Sheets was not my favorite album, so I look forward to a change of pace. Shake the Sheets reminded me a lot of the Clash's second album- kind of over-produced, hooky and topical but not enough variety. Folks have been saying the new record is all over the place, but that's ok, I like all over the place. Hey, i'm a scattered kind of guy. Humanist/Feminist/Vegan/Biker/Baker/Skater/Cook/Book-reader/Cookbook-Reader/Magazine-lover.

Baby, I don't know Karate, but I know ker-ayyzeeeeee.
Mashed Potato, USA!
It is a new day, so can a man get up in here and do the popcorn?

With headlines like "naughty nicole", "woman, 84, admits sex with 11 year old", "mile high makeout", "rowdy rapper", "laxative-laced brownies lead to charges", and ...."homicide bomber kills 14 in pakistan court" it's clear that Fox News truly gives you both sides. The diarrhea brownies and the suicide bombers.

Lordy.

I called this number three times today
But then I, put the phone back in place.
I still don't know if I
should have called well.
tell me dear if I'm out of place.
yes here's your chance to make me awkward
And wish that I had
never called this place.
but you walked by your college dorm with hippie Ernie
I'm calling to say I could take his place.

This phone call today concerns hippie Ernie
his Woodstock brain, and his acid face.
yeah You walked by the computer centre with spineless Ernie
I telephoned to say, I could easily take his place.
he's a hippie
hippie Ernie
I'm straight and I want to take his place.
hey where's his backbone?
hippie Ernie huh?
I'm tryin to make mine straight
I could really take his place.
cause I'm straight
I'm straight
I'm straight
I'm straight and I want to take his place

way down

well I've watched you walk around and meet.
boyfriends that you think are so deep
but I maintain if all your new boyfriends.
were really that great,
well couldn't they take this place
and take it straight?
I'm straight
I mean I'm straight
and it's a hard fight
but I'm straight and I want to take his place

way down

well I knew you for a while
and I thought that I could bring out
the nicer and the smarter things
that you have inside
but you walk by the computer centre
with this kid whose not up to your level at all
you should have me
walking by your side
now he's a hippie
old hippie Ernie
meanwhile, I'm straight
and I'd like to take his place
he's not so deep
hippie Ernie
I'm straight and I want to take his place
dear I'm straight
I'm straight
I'm
I'm straight and I could easily take his place

all right everybody

(I'm straight!)
(I'm straight!)
everbody say
(I'm straight!), that's right
I'm straight and I want to take his place

So i'm sitting in Jen's room, preparing for departure tonight at 6:30. Of course I haven't done a single productive thing this weekend, but oh well, what can you do? I read some of the book we were supposed to read for History, but I haven't gotten around to the group questions (sorry Natalie!).

It was a super duper weekend. I got to feed monkeys. And I don't mean just like, feeding them through a cage, I mean I was in a monkey's ENVIRONMENT and they were dashing about all around me stealing peanuts and raisins out of my hands. They were Capuchan monkeys. Look them up. They were tiny, and very very desperate to get some raisins. It was a totally totally magical day. Feeding monkeys. Feeling little monkey paws all on my hands. Spectacular.

I'm listening to a Sonny Rollins record I got in Miami as well. One of the songs features both Thelonius Monk AND Horace Silver playing at the same time- as well as the invincible Art Blakey, Paul Chambers, and the great trombonist J.J. Johnson. Hot dog. Good music. Everybody talks about Coltrane, and Coltrane ruled no doubt, but Sonny Rollins was THE best tenor sax player in the 50's. Coltrane was still honing his craft at this point. So if you like Coltrane or jazz or whatever, go get some Sonny Rollins (or Thelonius Monk's "Brilliant Corners"-features Sonny on the whole album).

I have eaten so much good food this weekend. Some stellar Ethiopian food was had Friday night. Saturday we went to Ft. Lauderdale to eat at "Sublime"-this super ritzy vegan resteraunt that Paul McCartney and Bob Barker like. It was super good too, and they had their stunt meat perform well- my seitan skewers looked, felt, and tasted like honest to goodness chicken. It was good, but i'm not gonna lie, The Grit is just plain out my favorite resteraunt ever. I know it's not all vegan, but whatever, it's totally better than any other vegetarian resteraunt i've ever eaten at. We had some thai last night, and I ordered the biggest bowl of curry i've ever seen-way too much for one sitting. Good though. I think we might eat at this place called "The Last Carrot",but we might just go back to the thai place.

Alright, well i'm done spieling.

P.S- Jennifer got me Glen E. Friedman's "Fuck You Heroes" for valentines day. Awesome pictures of early skating, punk, and rap. Picture of HR from the Bad Brains in mid-back flip that just rules. Awesome.

I'm not usually one to make dream posts, but i'm going to break my own rules and go ahead because I just had the craziest dreams ever.

Ok, so I was dropped into this swamp. There are all sorts of faces in the swamp that are talking to me, and these people are dead. In the world I have been dropped into, when you die you get stuck randomly somewhere on the planet- and you can talk. So after having several conversations with swamp faces, i run until i find a beach. On the beach I see two huge standing armies, one wearing red and the other blue. They both start chasing me and I run extremely fast. I run into a third army that wears green. I run from them until I am surrounded by all sides. Kaela Collins is in the Green Crowd and says she likes the way I run. They then give me a pair of shoes. I remember I kept saying "I don't wear Adio shoes", but the shoes weren't even Adio. They had symbols all over them, like the Louis Vatton(however you spell that) bags. I wouldn't wear them. I think I fought a war against the people from the swamp, I don't know.

What a stupid entry.

I've been really antagonistic lately. Butthole McFarland.

Well, that's about as much sleep as i'm going to have tonight. Excellent. Worst Christmas ever.

Awesome time tonight, drove around Gainesville and listened to the Pogues and showed her all the lights and got french fries and all sorts of stuff. I love that Jen.

Like Louise, I stayed up way too late hoping for Aurora Borealis. No dice, but having something to be excited about was really nice.

And eating cake at Natalies was pretty exciting, as was getting attacked/rolling around with a bunch of puppies and dogs.

In other news, I read an article today that called Farm Sanctuary (the organization) and the Humane Society extremist animal-rights organizations. Haha!

Pretty soon buying vegetables will get you landed as a terrorist.

BRING IT ON, I'M MAKING LENTIL SOUP AND THERE'S NOT A THING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT FBI.

Haha. But really though, life is good. I'm learning to laugh at all this ridiculous shit instead of get really upset about it. Not saying it isn't a big deal, but people can believe whatever. I'll be eating lentil soup.

Three down, two to go. I definitely forgot my (allowed) cheat sheet for math and suffered for it accordingly, although I don't think I made worse than a C. But who can tell. I'll get a B in the class regardless. I have a paper to write tonight, so I should get cracking.

Everybody reading this, i'm probably not going to have enough money to buy anyone gifts, so don't get me any either. Just saying!

School is winding down and I couldn't feel more relieved. No more speeches. No more papers on sexuality that get A+'s much to my surprise. No more wackass schedule. I'm excited.

I started reading David Copperfield the other night, which is pretty weird for me. I've tried to read Dickens before and never got into it, but for some reason this one shot to the heart, as Bon Jovi would say. People criticize Dickens for using grotesque character types- but he's trying to prove a point as well as give you a story. I get it now- he's writing really crazy entertaining stories while bringing attention to poverty and child labor (two things he was very familiar with). I'm down with that. Subversion, folks.

Pretty extraordinary how inspiring long dead 19th century authors can be.

Musically, i've been on a switch-up between Chisel and Cannibal Ox. Not very complimentary, but oh well. If you want to hear some of the greatest hip hop you'll ever hear, go listen to Cannibal Ox's "The Cold Vein". That El-P has a way with production, I tell you.

First off, let me say that I do not think voting alone is a way of excercising one's power. I don't know if it really elicits any power at all, except when it comes to voting on various referendums, such as restricting the use of eminent domain or defining marriage as a union between a man and woman.

But recently, it seems many an anarchist or other "radical" would like to convince others that not voting counts as a political act, a boycott. For a boycott to work, whoever you're boycotting has to know that you have decided to stop buying their products or attending their displays or whatever. When poll workers see a low voter turnout they don't think "My God, those who choose not to vote as political protest HAVE WON", they think "Good, more of my people and less of 'their' people.". I always think of Jello Biafra's quote "Don't hate the media, Become the Media.". Those who chose to write in "Saddam Hussein" made more of an impression than those who chose not to vote.

Now I agree, the majority of politicians out there have no desire to help me or you or that child over there or anyone. But there are subtle differences that do amount to something. Gary Black, the republican who ran for the Commissioner of Agriculture, was staunchly against any form of amnesty, and would have served as yet another conduit for anti-immigrant feelings. Tommy Irvin, the democrat who ran (and won) the Commissioner of Agriculture, welcomed amnesty and allowing them to pursue citizenship. That's a small example. I am sure Tommy Irvin has done wicked things. Now you can tell me about how that makes no difference or this and that, but honestly, fuck off.

I'm going to quote someone who sums it up for me, Isa Chandra Moskowitz, author of Vegan with a Vengeance and Vegan Cupcakes Take Over The World.

"As far as anarchism goes, it's an ideal for me, but at this point I don't give a shit, I'll settle for universal health care. I vote the hell out of elections, local and national. It worries me that all of the people that are leftwing are too divided to get anything done. And I think I'm going to write another straight-edge song here, but I would like to see more unity. I would like for people to put down their ridiculous Commie newspapers and get together to fight the fascism going on in this country without trying to further their own political agendas. Unity becomes really difficult when there are so many fundamental differences between people's political ideologies. So yeah, I am an anarchist, but being an anarchist in America today feels a little like having invisibility superpowers in a pitch-black room."

I'm going to go a little further. When I see people on the left encourage hatred and violence towards their enemies, I get a little disgusted. It's easy enough to abhor an entire group of people. What do I think? I think people aren't all good, they aren't all bad. I just think they're easily led. That's all.

I went to Athens yesterday. I walked up and down and up and down the three or four blocks that comprise the "downtown" area. It was nice. They didn't have the new Evens record. Kind of a bummer. But I got a couple issues of cometbus so all is well. It's nice to read letters from other people and feel a kinship.

I was thinking about the nature of record collectors while i was in Wuxtry yesterday too. I guess i used to be one, and i found myself in a trap. You get so caught up buying records that you forget to listen to them. Like yesterday i was listening to this Elliot Smith album i've had since the 10th grade. I've never bought any other Elliot Smith album, because i just loved this one so much i don't really care about any others. Yet i own about, i don't know, 8 or 9 Bob Dylan albums. Do i love any of those? No, not really. I listen to them sometimes, and i enjoy them, but i don't have a relationship with those records. All the records i love the most are the ones I got when I was 15 or 16 and didn't have enough money to get all the stuff an artist put out. Sometime a band would be so good i would just spend 4 or 5 months worth of allowance just to allot all their albums (Fugazi,the Minutemen, the Misfits). But usually i would just be immensely satisfied with what i had. I don't think it's nostalgia that makes me love these records, i think it's the fact that i have had time to let these records grow on me. Record Collectors (former self included) never seem to relish the music, only the object. That's a shame.

I've started recording again. I used to just fill up 90 minute tapes with little snippets of songs i prepared. It was fun. I'm going to start doing that again. It would be a really funny Christmas gift to give someone like a "box set" of my 5 or 6 90 minute tapes. "The Omnibus", i would call it. Yeah right! Anyways. Good fun.

The music people call groundbreaking today just blows my mind. I'm thinking of two groups who have just released new albums, Isis and Converge. People seem to fawn upon these groups for reasons I can't understand. Both bands are utterly devoid of a sense of humor (not always a bad thing) and also ridiculously self important in their mission to bore audiences to death with noodling in the mode of boringian or with the same old distortion-in-the-mic screaming.

Isis are a forgery. Some of their members seem to be in a band called Red Sparrowes, who are a bit-grade counterfeit of a thousand other "post rock" bands but without the funny song titles. Let's not forget the ultra-materialistic and fetishistic tendencies of singer Aaron Turner's Hydrahead records, who commonly offer "limited edition" packages for new albums that include shirts, hoodies, record mats, shopping bags, coat hangers, and commemorative mugs.

And Converge. Lord. This is from their own mouths :"These days, cowards outnumber the heroes, and the begging souls outweigh the calloused hands of the hardest of workers. Both in life and in art, the lack of passion is sickening, and the lust for complacency is poisonous. This album is the artistic antithesis of that sinking world; a thorn in the side of their beast. It's for those who move mountains one day at a time. It's for those who truly understand sacrifice. In our world of enemies, we will walk alone...”

Arrogance much? Apparently Converge and their members are the lodestones of how to live. Now if their goal is to get all the kids in Jane Doe hoodies to think about something other than getting their monroes pierces i'm all for that. But you know they're going to play at the masquerade again this fall, the kids'll come out, beat the shit out of each other, and then go home. That's it. No communication. Converge and bands of their ilk will always fail to ignite their audience because when it comes right down to it there is little to no communication between the band and audience. Let's narrow it down to the screaming. Screaming is a purely emotional action. It does not care what other people think, it does not care what people, it says "listen to ME". So if you're in a band, and you scream, it is assumed that you want the audience to have an emotional response or to see you as a spectacle (i.e, the "they're crazy live!" proclamation), not an analytical one. At the basic level, if the kids can't understand what the fork you're saying, how are they supposed to think about it? They can buy the album and check the liner notes later, sure, but the moment is lost.

It's a really horrible thing to say "I can't wait for this week to be over". It's a damn shame because i'm just sitting in school, fretting about grades and wishing time would pass me by. That's not what it's supposed to be like, is it?

It's just frustrating to hear people talk around campus. Someone was debating that you should be able to pray in school. Can you not? Can you not pray in school? I don't ever remember being told that I couldn't pray in school. I think it's great that they're isn't a mandatory prayer anymore. Not everyone should have to pray and if you do want to nobody is stopping you. The very narrow definition that a lot of people want Christianity to become is dangerous. Nationalist, Xenophobic, Racist dangerous.

I'm tired.

P.S- I made cinnamon rolls this morning, and they were pretty good. My friends who tried some seemed to like them just fine. I can make them better though.